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I've been mentally overwhelmed as to what to blog/write about lately. I was talking to someone yesterday whom I haven't talked to for a while who said I sounded so good and upbeat, different and together. I don't feel that way at all. I feel more confused and fragmented. That has more to do with what has been going on in the world than what is going on in Steve. My problem is motivation which I can change at any moment I choose to. The worlds problems are much more pervasive, our economic and social issues are staggering. Maybe I'm just getting tired but things just seem to be getting exponentially worse with the world each day that goes by. I'm not just talking about unemployment, inflation, gas prices, political chicanery etc. The seems to be an underlying current of social (despair, disconnect, tension?). I feel it. Do you? I've always had an innate ability (instinct?) to pick up on such things and whenever I ignored it the repercussions were staggering. I ignore at my own peril. I just can't seem to put my finger on the pulse of the exact problem. The vulnerability I've been feeling is directly connected to the things in the world I can't control. I know this sounds like a personal problem but my world has always been "shaky". I'm living less on the edge now than I ever have before. So why do I feel more vulnerable? It's got to do with whats going on in the world. Our way of life, our freedoms and way of life as I've known it is in real jeopardy. And I feel  helpless to do anything about it. I know this sounds vague at best or that I'm suffering from paranoia at worst. I assure you thats not it. I guess with my rising sense of political and social awareness my own individual beliefs are being shaken to the core. There is a saying "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything!" Which I've always been a true believer in that statement. The problem I have today is that I don't necessarily trust the ground I'm standing on. The winds of change never really bothered me before probably because they were more personal. Changes in my life I would somehow cause. Now though it seems like I'm just holding my breath waiting for the world to explode. There seems to be no solid "truths" to hold on to anymore. Like everything is relative. I can't even wrap my brain around relative to what? I really believe my country, my way of life, my security in the world is all being threatened. The world itself is being threatened. On a higher or deeper level. The point being something is inherently wrong with the world today and I DON'T LIKE IT!